Opposition Leader Matthew Guy said … to increase the state road maintenance budget from around $600 million to $1 billion annually and reestablish a $72 million-a-year grants program to help councils maintain their roads …
Ah, Victoria’s roads. The stuff of legends—or perhaps nightmares, depending on how you look at it. With the upcoming election looming like a dark cloud over our heads, people are starting to wonder: where exactly have Transport Victoria’s priorities been hiding? Spoiler alert: they’re probably stuck in a pothole somewhere.
Let’s kick things off with the basics. You’d think that with all the traffic crisscrossing our fair state, freeways would be at the top of the maintenance to-do list. I mean, they carry more vehicles than a chocolate factory carries calories. But alas, it seems that the powers that be have decided that local streets and municipality collector roads are the true VIPs of the road maintenance world. I can just see them now, sipping lattes while the freeways are left to fend for themselves.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for local communities getting their fair share of attention. But when your main thoroughfares look like they’ve been through a war zone, you have to wonder if someone at Transport Victoria has misplaced their priorities—perhaps in the glove compartment of a broken-down car on the side of the road?
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the current state of our beloved roads. Picture this: gaping potholes that could double as swimming pools, surfaces so poor you’d think they were designed by a toddler with a crayon, and litter strewn about like confetti at a particularly sad party. And don’t even get me started on the graffiti. Some of it is so artistic that it’s practically a gallery—just not the kind you want to see while driving.
But wait, there’s more! We’ve got broken noise walls that seem to be auditioning for a role in a horror movie, damaged safety barriers that are less ‘safety’ and more ‘please drive carefully, we’re not sure what’s behind this wall,’ and faded line markings that can only be seen by the most astute of detectives. And just when you think it can’t get worse, you discover that emergency telephones are either damaged or missing, as if they’ve decided to go on holiday.
Public lighting? Off on a permanent vacation, apparently. And let’s not forget about the drainage blockages—because who doesn’t love a good surprise water feature in the middle of the road? It’s like a game of ‘dodge the puddle’ every time it rains.
So, what’s the solution, you ask? Well, it seems pretty straightforward to me. Can we please, for the love of all that is good, fix the M1 through Gippsland? Or the M8? Or M79 around Macedon & Malmsbury? And don’t even get me started on the M39 around Nagambie and stretches of the M31 to the Murray. That’s a road trip I’d rather not take if it means navigating a minefield of road hazards.
In conclusion, as the election approaches and politicians start polishing their promises, let’s hope they don’t forget about the roads we travel on every day. Because if we’re going to be stuck in traffic, we might as well be stuck on roads that don’t resemble the surface of the moon. It’s time for Transport Victoria to step up, take a good hard look at their priorities, and maybe, just maybe, start caring about the very freeways that keep this state moving.
And if not, well, I guess we’ll just have to keep dodging those potholes until someone decides to wake up and smell the asphalt. Cheers to that!
Inspired by: “So, with all the talk on the conditions of Victoria’s roads and the upcoming election, just where h…” (r/melbourne)