Joi AI surveyed 2,500 adults before launching the study, finding that 75 percent masturbate to reduce stress and anxiety and that 43 percent self-pleasure before “a big event,” like a date, exam, or difficult conversation.
If you thought your job was strange, wait until you hear about the latest gig that has people, quite literally, getting their hands dirty for science. Yes, you read that right. A company named Joi AI has gone ahead and hired a group of so-called “masturbation consultants” to explore how AI can enhance the age-old practice of self-pleasure. Because clearly, what we really needed in this world was an official title for something that most of us have been doing since our teenage years and pretending it wasn’t happening.
So, what exactly does one do as a masturbation consultant? Well, for a whole month, these consultants were tasked with the noble duty of logging their moods, energy levels, and cravings as they engaged in daily solo sessions. And yes, they were instructed to do this every day except Sundays—because even the most dedicated consultants deserve a day of rest, right?
Keshav, a 38-year-old trader from Indonesia, was one of the ten chosen ones. He described his experience as almost like chatting with a real person, which sounds suspiciously like the sort of thing you’d say to justify spending a little too much time with your virtual companion. According to him, Joi AI’s digital characters were quite the performers, opening and closing their legs (virtually, of course) and engaging in explicit conversations. You know, typical workplace banter.
Now, I can’t help but chuckle at the thought of Keshav rendering his scenes in airplane bathrooms, declaring it his personal mile-high club fantasy. Because nothing says “I’m living my best life” like a cramped bathroom stall while pretending to be on a flight to nowhere. And let’s not forget the added complexity of these AI companions, who ranged from extroverted to the sort that required a little bit of wooing. Apparently, even digital partners have their standards—who knew you had to buy them gifts like handbags and lipstick? I guess it’s true what they say: you can’t put a price on love, but you can certainly buy a few virtual trinkets.
For their efforts, the consultants were compensated with a cool $2,000 each, making this quite possibly the most lucrative experiment in self-care we’ve ever seen. Joi AI is not just playing around here; they’re serious about finding out if this AI-guided “jerk off with purpose” approach can help solve the problem of male loneliness. And based on their surveys, it seems they might be onto something—75% of respondents reported that they masturbate to relieve stress, and 43% do it before big events. Who knew that self-pleasure had such a significant role in preparing for life’s challenges?
Of course, the study didn’t just focus on the act itself; it aimed to assess impacts on sleep, stress, and focus. Because let’s face it, if you’re going to throw a bunch of people into a room (or a virtual room), you might as well gather some data that could help humanity. After all, if we can’t solve loneliness with AI-enhanced self-pleasure, what are we even doing?
So, what’s next for the world of AI and self-care? Will we see more studies like this? Will we eventually have AI companions that not only satisfy our physical needs but also our emotional ones? Only time will tell. Until then, let’s raise a glass to the brave souls willing to take on the mantle of masturbation consultant. They’re not just doing it for themselves—they’re doing it for science. And if that isn’t a noble cause, I don’t know what is.
Inspired by: “Masturbation Consultants: The Surprising Intersection of AI and Self-Pleasure”