Walking Around Phillip Island: A Journey of Epic Proportions (and Regrets)

There are 11 trails in Phillip Island Nature Park.These trails have an average 4.4-star ratingfrom NaN AllTrails community reviews.

So, let’s talk about Phillip Island. It’s one of those picturesque places in Australia that looks like it was plucked straight out of a postcard. You know, the kind of place where you expect kangaroos to pop out of bushes wearing hats and sipping on a cold drink. But what if you decided to spice up your typical beach day and, oh, I don’t know, walk around the entire island in a single day? Well, that’s exactly what one brave soul, u/robertgearyphoto, decided to do, and he documented the whole thing so we don’t have to suffer through it ourselves. Lucky us!

Now, before you grab your hiking boots and start plotting your own circumnavigation of this beautiful island, let’s break down what this adventure really entailed. According to Robert’s Strava link (because if it’s not on Strava, did it even happen?), the journey was filled with plenty of highs and lows—quite literally. I mean, it’s not like he just strolled down a flat beach the entire time. No, no, there were hills! And if you’ve ever tried walking uphill for more than five minutes, you’ll know that it can turn even the most cheerful person into a grumpy potato.

Robert made a conscious effort to avoid trespassing and not to trample on any fragile conservation areas, which is commendable. I mean, we certainly don’t want to be the reason for a kangaroo uprising, right? But let’s be real here: walking around an entire island is no small feat. It’s not like he just went for a leisurely walk around the block.

As Robert humorously stated, “Would I recommend it? Absolutely the fuck not.” And honestly, I can’t blame him. Walking around Phillip Island sounds like a great idea in theory—fresh air, beautiful scenery, maybe some wildlife sightings—but in practice? It’s more like a test of endurance and sanity.

Imagine this: you’re halfway into your trek, sweaty and exhausted, and you realize you still have more than half the island left to conquer. At that point, you might start questioning your life choices. “Why didn’t I just pack a picnic and relax on the beach instead?” you’ll wonder. And let’s not even talk about the blisters. Oh, the blisters. They’re like little reminders of your poor decision-making skills.

But hey, kudos to Robert for putting in the effort and sharing his experience with us. He could have easily kept this ridiculous adventure to himself, but instead, he chose to let us in on the madness. So, if you’re still considering walking around Phillip Island, I’d suggest you think again. Or, better yet, grab a comfy beach chair, a good book, and let someone else do the walking while you sip your drink and enjoy the view.

In conclusion, while Robert’s trek around Phillip Island may not be something we’d all want to replicate, it certainly makes for an entertaining story. And remember, sometimes it’s better to live vicariously through someone else’s adventures—and maybe throw in a little sarcasm for good measure. Happy exploring, or rather, happy lounging!


Inspired by: “I attempted to walk around the entirety of Phillip Island in a day so you don’t have to – AMA” (r/melbourne)