Answer (1 of 8): Wow! I have never heard of a parent saying something like that, and as a parent, I have never said anything like that. I have, however, told my children that I am sorry that we didn’t have the life I thought we would have, that I expected we would have, that I tried for us …
Ah, the classic line that seems to have a lifetime warranty: “I gave birth!” It’s like the golden ticket to get out of chores, justify that extra slice of cake, or even snag a few more presents at Christmas. But let’s be honest—how long can we really milk this excuse before it starts to sound a bit desperate?
Let’s set the scene. You’re at a family gathering, and your aunt asks you to help her move the couch. You could say, “Sorry, I’m not strong enough for that!” But instead, you lean back, take a deep breath, and confidently declare, “I gave birth!” Cue the stunned silence followed by a round of applause.
Now, don’t get me wrong, giving birth is no small feat. It’s a life-altering experience that deserves all the respect and recognition in the world. However, it’s also a card that can be played a little too often. I mean, how many years can we ride the coattails of that one day?
Take Christmas, for instance. You might think, “I brought you a grandchild, so I’m entitled to a new pair of shoes!” Sure, your in-laws might think that’s a fair trade. But at what point do they start to roll their eyes and mutter, “Yeah, but you also ate all the cookies last year, so let’s not get carried away here.”
And let’s not forget about the conversations around more delicate subjects, like vasectomies. You might find yourself in a discussion where someone is lamenting the pain of the procedure. Instead of empathizing, you whip out the trump card: “Sorry, I can’t relate. Have you ever pushed a 10cm head out of a 9cm cervix?” Now that’s a conversation killer.
But really, how often can we use this line before it starts to lose its luster? It’s like that old joke that everyone laughs at the first time, but by the fifth time, people are just nodding politely while secretly checking their phones.
Here’s the kicker: I don’t have a definitive answer. Maybe it’s a case-by-case basis. Perhaps if your teenager starts rolling their eyes at you, it’s time to retire that line. Or maybe when your friends start pretending to be busy whenever you bring it up, it’s time to find a new way to justify your behavior.
So, what’s the verdict? Can we keep using “I gave birth!” as our go-to excuse forever, or should we start looking for new material? Personally, I think it’s a classic that can’t be completely retired. Just like that embarrassing photo from your college days that you can’t help but pull out at parties, it’s a badge of honor that deserves some airtime—but maybe with a little more restraint.
Until then, let’s enjoy our baby Swiss, deli meat, and Kewpie mayonnaise tacos while we ponder the mysteries of life and the limits of our birth-related excuses. Because really, who doesn’t love a good taco while contemplating the art of justification?
Inspired by: “How Long are we Milking "I Pushed a Baby Out"?” (r/GirlDinnerDiaries)