Published April 22, 2021 Toronto man Tom Alfandary was selling an e-bike on Facebook Marketplace when the person looking at his e-bike sat on it and then drove it away . “I should have known not to have the bike running, but it happened so quickly.
Ah, the joys of modern transportation! You invest in an ebike, thinking you’re the coolest, most eco-friendly person on the block, only to have it whisked away in the blink of an eye. That’s exactly what happened to one unfortunate soul near the Book Grocer in Northcote. Let’s dive into this tragic tale of theft, loss, and the sheer audacity of bike thieves.
Our protagonist parked their beloved ebike, which they affectionately described as having the phrase ‘the fast and the furious’ emblazoned on the side. Because, you know, nothing says ‘I’m ready to save the planet’ like a bike that channels its inner Vin Diesel. They parked it for just two hours—plenty of time to grab a book or two and maybe a coffee, right? Wrong!
Picture this: it’s a bustling High Street, full of life and noise. You’d think that with all the hustle and bustle, a thief would think twice before cutting through an electric chain lock like it was made of butter. But no, this thief was clearly on a mission. Armed with a bolt cutter, they made quick work of the lock, causing a blaring alarm that could probably wake the dead. It was so loud, our hero thought it was a car alarm gone rogue! And yet, despite the symphony of chaos, the thief made a clean getaway.
Now, imagine stepping outside, feeling all warm and fuzzy from your shopping spree, only to be greeted by the empty bike stand where your pride and joy once stood. Devastating, right? It’s like walking into a surprise party only to find out it’s a surprise funeral instead. Not only did they lose their mode of transport, but they also lost a piece of their identity. I mean, who wouldn’t feel a little lost without a bike that literally tells people you’re fast and furious?
After the shock of the theft wore off (if that’s even possible), our ebike enthusiast took the sensible route and filed a police report. Because clearly, that’s what you do when your bike gets stolen—after all, the police have a great track record of solving bike crimes, right? (Just kidding, we all know how that usually goes.)
But here’s where the community can shine! If you’re in the area and happen to spot a bike that looks suspiciously like ‘the fast and the furious,’ do the right thing—report it! Help a fellow cyclist out because, let’s face it, the world is tough enough without adding bike theft to the mix.
So, to everyone reading this, let this serve as a cautionary tale: always lock your bike with the best security you can afford, and maybe invest in a good set of eyes to keep watch. And if you see a bike thief in action, perhaps it’s time to channel your inner superhero and save the day. Because who wouldn’t want to be the one to return ‘the fast and the furious’ to its rightful owner?
In the end, let’s all keep our fingers crossed that this ebike finds its way back home. And to our ebike owner, here’s hoping your next bike comes with a built-in alarm system that could scare off even the most determined thief. Stay safe out there, folks!
Inspired by: “My ebike got stolen near the Book Grocer at Northcote, devastated!” (r/melbourne)