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So, here we are, folks. The FBI has decided that when it comes to releasing documents about the Trump-Butler shooting files, they’re all about that ‘drip-drip’ approach. And by ‘drip-drip,’ I mean a slow, agonizingly painful leak that makes waiting for a new season of your favorite show seem like a walk in the park.
Judicial Watch’s Thomas Fitton is not having it, and honestly, can you blame him? He’s recently come out swinging, calling the FBI’s 12-year timeline for releasing 75,000 pages of documents related to the Thomas Matthew Crooks assassination attempt “unacceptable.”
Now, let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer audacity of this timeline. Twelve years? That’s longer than it takes to get a doctorate in something ridiculously complex, like astrophysics. It’s longer than the average duration of a high school relationship. Heck, you could probably train a dog to do tricks in that time and still have time left over to binge-watch every season of The Office.
Fitton’s frustration is palpable, and here’s why: the public has a right to know what’s going on, especially when it involves high-profile incidents that could potentially shake up the political landscape. But instead of a straightforward release, we’re treated to the bureaucratic equivalent of watching paint dry.
You’ve got to wonder what’s taking so long. Are they trying to ensure that every page is printed on recycled paper? Are they waiting for the stars to align? Or perhaps they’re just really into suspense and want us to sweat it out a little longer? Either way, the FBI’s method of operation here is raising eyebrows and, let’s be honest, a few chuckles because who wouldn’t find the whole situation a tad ridiculous?
In the age of instant information, where you can find out who won a game of rock-paper-scissors with a quick Google search, it’s baffling that it takes more than a decade to release documents that are presumably just sitting in a digital vault somewhere, gathering virtual dust.
Fitton’s remarks come amid growing concerns about transparency in government agencies. It seems like every time we think we’ve cracked the code to understanding our federal institutions, they throw us a curveball. So, what’s next? Will it take another decade to release the documents on why the chicken really crossed the road?
In conclusion, if you’re sitting there, wondering whether you should hold your breath for these documents, I’d advise against it. You might turn blue before the FBI gets around to pressing ‘print.’ So, keep your popcorn at the ready, and let’s see how this slow-motion drama unfolds. Who knows? By the time we get to the end of this saga, we might even have flying cars and robots doing our chores. Until then, we’ll just be here, waiting for the next chapter in this never-ending story.
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