Tobias Jones on how he built his own desk . After years of making-do with desks he disliked – or which were just plain uncomfortable – Tobias Jones decided to build his own, discovering, in the process, exactly what he required from a writing …
Ah, the joys of assembling furniture at work. Who doesn’t love a good DIY project? You know, the kind that makes you question your life choices and the very fabric of reality? Well, let me take you on a little journey through one man’s Herculean task of building a desk that could rival the complexity of a NASA spacecraft.
Our hero, who we’ll refer to as “the submitter” (because frankly, I’m not sure I can pronounce their username without summoning a demon), had the delightful experience of constructing a desk for their workplace maintenance crew. Now, don’t get me wrong, assembling furniture can be a rite of passage, but this desk was like the Mount Everest of flat-pack furniture – daunting and, at times, utterly ridiculous.
Picture this: 43 pieces, 365 connecting components, and 46 steps. That’s right, folks—46 steps! I’ve seen fewer steps in a dance routine. It took a whopping 8 hours to complete, which is approximately the time it takes to binge-watch an entire season of your favorite show. But instead of being entertained by fictional characters, our submitter was grappling with screws, bolts, and an instruction manual that seemed to be written by someone who had never actually seen a desk before.
Now, let’s talk about the instructions. They had multiple steps where the text was a direct copy of the previous step. It’s as if the manual was trying to play a prank on our submitter. “Oh, you thought you were making progress? Nope! Just kidding! Here’s a repeat of what you just did!” The audacity! And as if that wasn’t enough, there were three picture instructions that were wrong. Yes, you read that correctly—components that literally could not be placed in a way that matched the accompanying image. It’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, only the peg is made of particle board and the hole is a confusing labyrinth of confusion.
Now, I can’t help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. I mean, who designs a desk with 365 connecting parts? Did they think this was a game of Tetris? I can just imagine the engineers sitting around a table saying, “You know what would be fun? Let’s make this desk so complicated that it requires a PhD in engineering to assemble!”
But let’s give credit where credit is due. Our submitter wasn’t mad. In fact, they were quite pragmatic about the whole ordeal. They mentioned that it was easier than moving heavy furniture or cutting old radiator heaters out of walls. So, kudos to them for maintaining a sense of humor through the chaos.
In conclusion, the saga of the desk that defied logic is a testament to the trials and tribulations of modern assembly. If you ever find yourself staring down a pile of furniture parts, just remember: it could always be worse. You could be stuck cutting old radiators out of the walls. So, the next time you’re faced with an impossible DIY project, channel your inner submitter, and tackle it with a smirk and a sarcastic comment. After all, laughter is the best tool in any handyman’s belt!
Inspired by: “This desk is had to build at work” (r/mildlyinfuriating)