An 1870 royal commission was the result of growing indignation against noxious trades within central city limits , and by the 1880s the slaughterhouses and noxious trades that had rubbed shoulders with central city residences and businesses were being banished to the city's fringe.
Ah, Melbourne Central. A bustling hub of activity where you can grab a coffee, catch a train, or, if you’re particularly unlucky, experience a rather unpleasant olfactory adventure. Recently, a Reddit user, /u/Accomplished-Ask8084, brought to light something that many of us have probably noticed but dared not speak of: the peculiar smell wafting from downstairs near the Chemist Warehouse side. It’s a delightful combination of human waste and, for some reason, an overwhelming cloud of bad perfume. Because who doesn’t want their nostrils assaulted by that combo during lunch break?
Now, let’s break this down. It’s lunchtime, and you’ve decided to take a break from your desk. You stroll into Melbourne Central, your stomach grumbling, your heart full of hope for a delicious meal. You grab your sandwich, maybe a cheeky muffin, and head down to find a spot to eat. But as you approach the Chemist Warehouse, you’re suddenly hit by a smell that could only be described as ‘Eau de Regret.’
Is it just me, or has anyone else experienced this? It’s like someone decided to host a perfume party in the middle of a landfill. I mean, who thought that spraying a floral scent would mask the smell of… well, you know? It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
For those of you who might be new to Melbourne, I assure you that this isn’t the norm. Melbourne is known for its vibrant culture, incredible food, and, dare I say, its generally pleasant smells—thanks to its cafes, bakeries, and artisan chocolate shops. But down in that corner of Melbourne Central? It’s like a bad episode of a reality show where the producers decided to throw a curveball just to see how people react.
Is it just a case of poor ventilation? A rogue plumbing issue? Or perhaps, and this is purely speculative, a secret society of disgruntled employees at the Chemist Warehouse who are trying to make a statement about workplace conditions? I mean, they say that the personal care aisle is the most fragrant section, but this is taking it to a whole new level.
And let’s not forget the reactions. You can see the faces of fellow lunch-goers as they approach the area. There’s a moment of hope, followed by sheer horror as they realize what they’re walking into. It’s like a scene from a horror movie where the protagonist gets too close to the monster before realizing they should have turned back. You can almost hear the collective gasp as everyone tries to find their way out of there as quickly as possible.
So, what can we do about this? Well, for starters, we could all use a good ol’ chat with management at Melbourne Central. A gentle nudge, perhaps? A letter, a petition, or maybe just a group of us marching down there with signs that read, “For the love of all that is holy, can we fix the smell?” Because let’s be real, we deserve better than this olfactory assault during our lunch breaks.
In the meantime, if you find yourself in the vicinity of that infamous corner, maybe hold your breath, or better yet, invest in some nose plugs. And if you’re feeling particularly adventurous, you might just want to find a new lunch spot—preferably one that doesn’t require a gas mask.
So, fellow Melburnians, let’s band together and tackle this issue head-on. After all, we can’t let a little smell ruin our lunch breaks. Until then, keep your noses up and your sandwiches close!
Inspired by: “I can’t be the only one” (r/melbourne)