“It was an interesting set of circumstances because he was a bit older than me, so in that regard it was a little uncomfortable, but as time went on, I became incredibly grateful to date someone who was in my circle, and it’s helped a lot over the years. We have the same friends.” · Clay Carufel, a 20-something in the Midwest, said he’s used dating apps in the past and found them helpful for meeting new people, but was really happy when he met his current girlfriend: “I was friends with her brother, who I met on a softball team, and my girlfriend came to our town to hang out with him.
In a world where swiping right has become as common as grabbing a coffee, it’s refreshing to hear from someone who’s ready to take a step back and meet people the good old-fashioned way. Yes, I’m talking about the art of human interaction—face-to-face! Our friend Alice from Melbourne has bravely put her digital dating life on hold, and honestly, I can’t blame her.
Let’s face it: dating apps can feel like a buffet where you’re just staring at the food, trying to decide if you want the mystery meat or the questionable sushi. And if you’re demisexual like Alice, the struggle is even more real. It’s hard to gauge chemistry from a static image, and honestly, some people look better in their profile pictures than they do in real life. (I mean, who hasn’t been catfished at least once?)
So, what’s the alternative? Public events! Yes, those magical gatherings where you can mingle with actual human beings instead of just profiles. Think about it: art galleries, trivia nights, or even local festivals. The beauty of these situations is that you can actually see how someone interacts with the world around them. Do they laugh at the right moments? Are they the person still staring at their phone while the rest of the group is having a blast? These are important clues!
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “But how do I approach someone without feeling like a complete dork?” Well, first off, everyone is a bit of a dork in these situations. Embrace it! Start with a simple compliment or a question about the event. It doesn’t have to be a grand opening line; sometimes the simplest approach works best. You could even say something like, “Hey, I see you’re also here avoiding dating apps! Want to join forces?”
You might be worried about rejection, but here’s a little secret: most people are just as nervous as you are. If they’re not interested, they’ll let you down gently (or just give you the classic ‘I’m not really looking right now’ line). And if they are interested? Well, congratulations! You just bypassed the awkwardness of a digital introduction and dove straight into the fun stuff.
But let’s not ignore the elephant in the room: friend groups. If you’re ignoring the idea of meeting through mutual friends, that’s a bold move. But hey, sometimes it’s necessary. You might find that your friends have a knack for setting you up with people who are just… not your type. Or worse, they might set you up with their cousin who still lives in his parents’ basement and thinks wearing socks with sandals is a fashion statement.
So, what do you think? Are you ready to throw caution to the wind and try meeting someone without the apps? It might feel a little daunting at first, but remember that every great love story starts with a little risk. Plus, if nothing else, you’ll have some hilarious stories to tell your friends later. Just remember to keep your expectations in check and have fun with it! After all, it’s about the journey, not just the destination.
So grab your coat, head out to that local event, and who knows? Your future partner might just be waiting for you at the next booth—or at least someone who shares your disdain for dating apps!
Inspired by: “Meeting your partner without apps” (r/melbourne)