At some point towards the beginning … so I thought I would share it here. Somehow I managed to capture well the trials and tribulations of those first few weeks there in China – a distance skater’s paradise….
So, picture this: you’re out there, skating your heart out, aiming for a world record that would make even Tony Hawk raise an eyebrow. You’ve got the wind in your hair, the sun on your face, and then—bam!—you pull a muscle. Not just any muscle, but your gluteus muscle. Yes, that’s right, the very muscle that’s supposed to keep you gliding gracefully along the pavement is now waving a white flag and saying, ‘Not today, my friend!’
Now, let’s dive into the saga of our intrepid skater who attempted to skate from Norway to the end of Denmark on a longboard. I mean, who needs a vacation in an all-inclusive resort when you can skate your way through Europe? But alas, this is not a fairy tale; this is the real world, where muscles have a mind of their own and tend to rebel at the most inconvenient times.
After three weeks of being sidelined, our skater finds themselves in a tent, melting away in the scorching heat of summer, with nothing but their own thoughts and a questionable Wi-Fi connection. I can only imagine the thoughts racing through their mind: ‘Why did I think this was a good idea?’ ‘Is there a support group for world record skaters with pulled muscles?’ or perhaps, ‘Why did I forget to bring a fan?’
It’s been a rough three weeks, and the doctor’s advice to rest is about as fun as watching paint dry. I mean, who wouldn’t want to lay around in a tent, dreaming of the open road while feeling like a human pretzel? The agony of not being able to skate must be palpable. It’s like being a kid in a candy store but being told you can only look at the candy and can’t eat any. Torturous!
And let’s not forget the added layer of frustration that comes with being in a tent. Tents are great for camping, sure, but when you’re confined to one with a pulled muscle, it can feel more like a sauna than a cozy abode. You can only lay there for so long before you start questioning your life choices. ‘Should I have just taken a bus? Did I really need to skate across countries? Why didn’t I just stick to rollerblading at the park?’
But fear not, dear reader! Though our skater is currently sidelined, they are plotting their next move. The journey from Norway to Denmark was just the beginning; they’ve got plans to skate all the way to Greece via Spain. That’s right, they’re not letting a little pulled muscle stop them from their dreams of skating glory. Once they’re back on their feet—or rather, on their longboard—they’ll be cruising along the Mediterranean coast like a pro.
In the meantime, they’re likely binge-watching some inspirational documentaries about athletes overcoming injuries or perhaps just scrolling through social media, watching other people live their best lives while they are stuck in tent purgatory. But hey, at least they have a story to tell, right?
So, here’s to our longboard warrior! May your gluteus muscle heal quickly, may the weather become a bit more forgiving, and may your next skating adventure be filled with fewer injuries and more ice cream stops. Because if there’s one thing we’ve learned from this experience, it’s that life is too short to be laid up in a tent when there are records to break and roads to skate!
Inspired by: “I pulled a muscle in my world record attempt for the longest distance ever skated.” (r/mildlyinfuriating)