You finish a regular-sized meal in less than 20 to 30 minutes. It takes 20 to 30 minutes for your body to send you a message to your brain that you’re full. “If you're a fast eater, you'll consume more food in 20 minutes than a slow eater. By the time a fast eater gets the satiety signals, it‘s too late — they‘ve overeaten and are uncomfortably full,” says Dr.
Have you ever watched someone eat and thought, “Wow, this is taking longer than my last relationship?” Well, welcome to the world of slow eaters, where every meal feels like a marathon, and the finish line is nowhere in sight. Recently, a Reddit post caught my eye, detailing a situation that many can relate to—an hour and a half to eat a plate of food. Yes, you read that right. An hour and a half. I mean, at that pace, I could probably binge-watch an entire season of my favorite show while waiting for dinner to wrap up.
Now, let’s dive into this phenomenon. The poster shared about their fiancé, who has transformed from a speedy eater to someone who treats every meal like a fine dining experience—complete with a side of existential dread. Apparently, this change was sparked by an Intro to Communication Disorders class, where he learned about the anatomical and physiological mechanics of swallowing. Who knew that understanding how to gulp down your spaghetti could turn you into a tortoise at the dinner table?
It’s kind of ironic, isn’t it? You take a class to learn about communication and end up with a new fear of choking on food. The fiancé used to eat like a normal person—quick and efficient, like a well-oiled machine. But now, it’s as if he’s become the poster child for slow dining. The poor guy is so conscious of every bite that he’s practically contemplating the meaning of life between forkfuls of mashed potatoes.
The poster, who is studying to become a speech therapist assistant (talk about irony), has tried to convince her fiancé to speed things up. After all, dinner shouldn’t feel like an episode of a cooking show where you’re just waiting for the chef to finish plating. She’s even taken to drinking more water to protect her vocal folds—because let’s be real, no one wants to sound like RFK Jr. while trying to eat. But alas, the fiancé continues to savor every morsel, leaving her to wonder if she should start planning meals around the clock instead of the calendar.
And let’s not overlook the fact that he’s a teacher. The poor guy comes home tired from a long day of wrangling children and grading papers, only to sit down for a meal that lasts longer than the preparation for the SATs. It’s a wonder he has any time left to unwind before bed. Between the long meals and the stress of teaching, he might as well add “professional eater” to his resume.
So, what do you do when your loved one takes forever to eat? Do you sit there, fidgeting, while contemplating the meaning of life, or do you just dig into your own plate like a ravenous wolf? I mean, I’m all for enjoying your food, but when it starts to feel like a waiting game, it can be mildly infuriating.
In conclusion, we’ve all got our quirks when it comes to eating, but if your dining experience starts to feel like a slow-motion documentary, it might be time to have a chat. After all, life’s too short to spend it watching someone dissect their dinner like it’s a science experiment. So here’s to hoping that the fiancé finds a balance between savoring and speed, and maybe, just maybe, they can both enjoy their meals without feeling like they’re stuck in a time warp. Cheers to faster eating and fewer existential crises at the dinner table!
Inspired by: “My fiancé takes an hour and a half–sometimes two–to eat a whole plate of food…” (r/mildlyinfuriating)