The Plain Food Predicament: A Love Letter to Boring Meals

The Plain Palate trope as used in popular culture. While the primary purpose of eating and drinking is to get nutrients, most of us enjoy the taste of food …

Ah, plain foods. The unsung heroes of the culinary world. While some folks are busy whipping up gourmet dishes that could make a Michelin star chef weep with joy, there are others who find solace in the simplicity of unseasoned ingredients. You may have stumbled upon a Reddit post where someone proudly declared their affinity for plain foods, and honestly, it’s a sentiment that resonates with many of us. But let’s dive deeper into this flavorless phenomenon, shall we?

First off, let’s address the elephant in the room: plain food can be a polarizing topic. For every person who relishes the taste of a naked potato or a bare piece of chicken, there’s someone who believes that a meal without seasoning is akin to a life without joy. But hey, to each their own! If you find happiness in a bowl of unflavored grits, more power to you.

Now, let’s talk about the benefits of plain foods. For starters, they are incredibly easy to prepare. You don’t need a degree from the Culinary Institute of America to boil water and throw a piece of meat on a pan. In fact, you could probably do it while binge-watching your favorite show. It’s a win-win situation: you get food, and you get to avoid the existential crisis that comes from trying to figure out what spice to use.

Then there’s the issue of food sensitivities. Some people have stomachs that are as sensitive as a soap opera star. One misplaced sprinkle of seasoning and they’re in for a ride on the struggle bus. For those individuals, plain foods are a safe haven. No more guessing games about whether that mysterious spice will lead to a night spent hugging the toilet bowl.

Let’s not forget about the simplicity of flavors. Sometimes, all you want is to taste the actual food you’re eating. A perfectly cooked piece of chicken can be a delight in its own right without the need for a complicated marinade. And if you’re really feeling wild, you can always dip it in some ketchup. (I know, I know—hold onto your hats, folks, this is some adventurous stuff!)

Of course, we can’t discuss plain foods without mentioning the inevitable eye rolls from friends and family. You know the ones—the people who can’t fathom how you can eat a meal without it being a flavor explosion. “Why so bland?” they ask, as if you’ve committed a crime against humanity. You might find yourself defending your choices, explaining that you enjoy the pure, unadulterated taste of food in its natural state. But let’s be real: it’s just food. You’re not writing a thesis on the philosophical implications of seasoning.

And then there’s the social aspect of plain foods. Going out to dinner with a group can be a nightmare if you’re the plain food enthusiast. While everyone else is busy raving about the truffle oil drizzled on their artisanal pizza, you’re over there contemplating whether a plain cheeseburger counts as excitement for the evening. It’s a unique struggle, but you’ve got to own it. Who needs fancy when you can have comfort?

In conclusion, whether you’re a plain food aficionado or simply someone who appreciates the beauty of simplicity, there’s something to be said for unseasoned meals. They may not win any culinary awards, but they sure do fill bellies. So next time you encounter someone who enjoys the plain and unvarnished side of life, give them a nod of respect. After all, it takes a certain kind of bravery to stand up against the spice rack and say, “No, thank you!”


Inspired by: “I really like plain foods so all of this is unseasoned” (r/mildlyinfuriating)