Ah, Cleopatra VII Philopator, the last queen of Egypt and the ultimate diva of ancient history! Born in 69 BC, she was not just lounging around in her palace sipping on wine, but was also busy ruling a kingdom, flirting with Roman generals, and, let’s be honest, probably working on her Instagram aesthetic (if only Instagram existed back then!).
Related reading: Cleopatra and the iPhone
Now, let’s get our time machines warmed up and break down this delicious tidbit of historical trivia: Cleopatra lived closer to the launch of the iPhone in 2007 than she did to the construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza, which was completed around 2560 BC. Mind-blowing, right? It’s like finding out that your grandma was alive when disco was a thing while also being able to remember the days before the internet.
First, let’s talk about the Great Pyramid. Built during the Fourth Dynasty of the Old Kingdom, it took about 20 years to complete and involved some serious labor (the ancient Egyptians were the original day laborers, minus the sunblock!). It stood as the tallest man-made structure in the world for over 3,800 years. Fast forward to Cleopatra’s time, and that pyramid was already an ancient wonder, likely the backdrop for countless selfies (or whatever they used to take pictures back then).
Now, let’s leap to 2007 when Apple released the first iPhone. We went from hieroglyphics to high-speed internet in just a few millennia. Cleopatra wouldn’t have recognized the world if she had magically appeared in an Apple store, probably wondering where all the chariots went and why everyone was staring at tiny screens instead of her magnificent visage.
But why does this matter? This comparison highlights not just the vastness of human history but also how human civilization has evolved — or should I say, how it has taken some wild detours. We went from constructing monumental pyramids to constructing devices that allow us to watch cat videos and order pizza in seconds. Seriously, Cleopatra could have ruled the world again if she had just had a smartphone. She could have tweeted her way into the hearts of millions!
Moreover, if Cleopatra had been alive today, she’d probably be the ultimate influencer. Just imagine her posting selfies with Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, captioning them with hashtags like #QueenGoals and #PtolemaicVibes. She could have even been the original diva of TikTok, teaching us all how to do the cha-cha while wearing a headdress and a gown that screams “I’m not just a queen, I’m a fashion icon.”
In conclusion, the timeline of Cleopatra living closer to the iPhone than the Great Pyramid is a reminder of how quickly our world changes. We often think of history as a linear path, but it’s more like a tangled ball of yarn that your cat has decided to play with. So, the next time you whip out your iPhone to check social media, just remember: Cleopatra probably would have been there right beside you, double-tapping those likes and reminding you to live your best life. Cheers to that!
Inspired by: “Cleopatra VII Philopator (69 BC – 30 BC), the last Cleopatra and the last ruler of the Ptolemaic dy…” (r/interestingasfuck)